Monday, May 9, 2011
“It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
How do I give this post a title. It's a tough one to even imagine to write. And yet I am. Because this is what CF has done to our family.
It was a conversation I had played over in my mind at least a dozen times. Hoping and praying it would be in, let's say 15 years or so. But it didn't. It happened much sooner than I expected it to.
On our family vacation to the Outerbanks of NC (which is a fabulous family destination if you're ever in the market for one!) Cayden told my mom he knew something about CF. Something he hadn't been told. Rather, he just quote...'figured it out." He told my mom, his beautiful Nana that he was going to die from CF. If they don't find a cure soon.
Goosebumps lined my skin. My mind was blurting in fragments. "But, I...didn't...even...get...a...chance to..........explain."
Our year has been plagued by pain and unfortunately, untimely death. Daddy talked to Cayden more when they were alone and when I asked Cayden what they talked about he told me exactly as it was described. He would die from CF someday. I am swallowing my heart. I can't breathe. "Who told you that...was it something we said?" No. "I just figured it out."
As I choked back tears I asked him "What did daddy say about that?"
Cayden answered, "I don't need to worry about that right now. God will take me when he is ready. And I will be in heaven with Treyton."
This is the truth. We can not run from it. We can not hide it. It is the honest truth. The ugly truth about this disease.
I'll take Cayden's response to heart though. We don't need to worry. God will take care of us!