Permission to Hope

I'm sure you are familiar with the saying "when it rains, it pours!" Indeed it does. On top of all the "CF" sickness we've been dealing with we're now dealing with the flu. I am the last one standing (knock on wood and yes, I know I'm doomed!). Chris and I are still entirely sure that Cayden actually had the "flu." This morning as I one whole block away from school, Cayden started throwing up in the car. Me driving, I felt completely helpless. We turned that car right around got him undressed and in the shower as he's singing at the top of his lungs "This little light of mine..." When we asked him what he was doing he simply and matter of factly replied, "singing my Christmas concert songs." We are kind of leaning towards the taking 8 meds in the morning might have been tough on his little tummy. Yes, 8! I promise to post pictures of them all. The pill line up on the counter was so ridiculously long that I just couldn't let a photo-op pass me by.

And with all of this going on I haven't even had a moment to really sit down and think about the new year and starting a clean slate.

The new year will also inevitably bring with it lots of "new things" for our family.
April-Chris's last sister will be married
**I am due 10 days later**

May-Arrival of baby 4

September-My sister Ashley's wedding
**I will have to fit into a bridal dress 4 months shortly after delivering baby4**

My personal new year's resolutions:
*Go on more dates (with my hubby of course)
*"Waste" more time with my kids
*Stayed "toned" during pregnancy by working out 3-4 times a week
*Pick up the Catechism of the Catholic Church, find where I left off and continue trudging through
*Do something for myself other than indulge on Starbucks coffee (I'm checking this one off January 15th-17th flying to Steubenville OH for a youth ministers retreat with just myself, a good friend, and one very large suitcase for two).
*Blog at least once a week
*Raise lots of money for CF and heck, maybe find a cure for CF!
*And if it is God's will for me and my family, have a HEALTHY baby!

So if you're wondering to your self, "Self, what are the odds of having another baby with CF?" The answer is 25% or 1 out of 4. This would seem like a very small odd. However considering we have already hit the 1 out of 4 twice Chris and I don't do "well" with small odds. The odds of two CF carriers marrying is also 1 out of 4. We should have bought a lottery ticket.

But really, all I need is permission to HOPE. And that is what my faith has given me. We are praying to St. Gianna Molla for a healthy and CF-free baby. Her story is amazing! Here is a short biography of her incredible decision that ultimately led to her sainthood:

In September 1961 towards the end of the second month of pregnancy, she was touched by suffering and the mystery of pain; she had developed a fibroma in her uterus. Before the required surgical operation, and conscious of the risk that her continued pregnancy brought, she pleaded with the surgeon to save the life of the child she was carrying, and entrusted herself to prayer and Providence. The life was saved, for which she thanked the Lord. She spent the seven months remaining until the birth of the child in incomparable strength of spirit and unrelenting dedication to her tasks as mother and doctor. She worried that the baby in her womb might be born in pain, and she asked God to prevent that.

A few days before the child was due, although trusting as always in Providence, she was ready to give her life in order to save that of her child: “If you must decided between me and the child, do not hesitate: choose the child - I insist on it. Save him”. On the morning of April 21, 1962, Gianna Emanuela was born. Despite all efforts and treatments to save both of them, on the morning of April 28, amid unspeakable pain and after repeated exclamations of “Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you", the mother died. She was 39 years old.



Prayer to St. Gianna
God our Father we praise You and we bless you because in Saint Gianna Beretta Molla you have given us one who witnessed to the Gospel as a young women, as a wife, as a mother, and as a doctor. We thank you because through the gift of her life we can learn to welcome and honor every human person.

You, Lord Jesus, were for Gianna a splendid example.
She learned to recognize you in the beauty of nature.
As she was questioning her choice of vocation she went
in search of you and the best way to serve you.
Through her married love she became a sign of
your love for the Church and for humanity.
Like you, the Good Samaritan, she cared for everyone
who was sick, small or weak. Following your example,
out of love she gave herself entirely,
generating new life.

Holy Spirit, Source of every perfection, give us wisdom, intelligence, and courage so that, following the example of Saint Gianna and through her intercession, we may know how to place ourselves at the service of each person we meet in our personal, family and professional lives, and thus grow in love and holiness.

Amen.