Thursday, December 10, 2009

I Just Want to Live

Tonight Chris and I (correction: mostly I since Chris was already fast asleep out on the couch) were watching the latest episode of Mercy. New hospital drama that's replacing ER for us. Great show. 3 seconds into it the patient is doing "therapy" and coughing up mucus. Hmmm...looked a bit familiar for us! Yep, he had CYSTIC FIBROSIS and needed a lung transplant. Long story short he got a donor but couldn't receive one because of a blood transfusion he had received a few month prior that would make his body reject the new organs. His options: 1) Opt for a type of radiation to kill all the plasma in his body with a POSSIBILITY for organ donation or 2) skip all the above; go home and live until his lungs are done.

He decided not to go through with the treatment and forgo the transplant. But what he had to say about his decision really affected me as a mom treating CF patients (my kids). The nurse on this man's case couldn't fathom why he wouldn't at least give the procedure a shot. He told her that he had been fighting all his life to beat the disease. For once in his life he just wanted to LIVE. Those words broke my heart. I suddenly wondered do I sympathize enough with my kids? Do they ever want to just stop fighting all together? Do they resent me when I tell them they need to do another round of treatments...for the third time today? Sometimes I forget how strong my little ones are. How much of a fighter they are. And selfishly I hope they never give up fighting. I just want them to live forever.

2 comments:

  1. In a word: NOPE. Your kids need you to stay on top of them about their treatments. To be honest with you, I don't accept this "really live" stuff. I do about 3 hours a day in treatments and I live a crazy full life. You can have both.

    Ronnie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed. My parents were always on top of me to do my treatments (still are, even though I do them, ha). They taught me how important my treatments are. How crucial they are to me being able to live my life. If I didn't do my treatments I would feel really sick and then I wouldn't be able to live - I'd be in the hospital more often.

    If you're ready for transplant, there's little chance of you being able to do much "living." I would be the one to go through the radiation so that I could have another chance at transplant so I could someday run up a flight of stairs again or dance all night without sitting!!!

    I know your kids are going to be fighters, Tiffany!!! And if they ever need any encouragement or someone to talk to who has dealt with things like being different in school, send 'em my way. I would be more than happy to talk to them!!!

    Love,
    Carla

    ReplyDelete